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Pages: Had dinner with the wife [1]
Author Topic: Had dinner with the wife
scheider

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2011-03-15 19-55-03

Had dinner with the wife Posted yesterday, wife wanted out of the marriage, x yrs, grown, both of us well off financially. The jest of her story: She feels like she has to do everything without help from me. She wants more help, she also wants to do some traveling. She feels that I've been in a slump and I'm bringing her down with me. Said she's felt this way for a couple of years. Truth is she has been voicing her concerns but I haven't been listening or I haven't been taking them seriously. She's right on all counts. I apologized and agreed. AND I decided to come clean about the pw hacker and other things. She told me that she already knew and she said she was flattered because I was putting more attention into her. I didn't see that coming. Well, we've agreed to take a trip next month and I'm planning it, my idea. SHe has the dates but I want to surprise her for the location. I told her all she has to do is pack her makeup and toothbrush and I'll take care of everything else when we get there. She was so excited about this that she wouldn't let go of me, slept all night in my arms and she hasn't done that in months. My wife needs some romance, she's getting older and my guess is that she isn't feeling as attractive. With me not giving her as much attention as I did, she felt that I was falling out of love with her. She was wrong but I need to show her more than I do. Thanks everyone for your words of help.
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tadros

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2011-04-25 5-24-50-

See, that's great! May a suggest, when you choose your location for the trip - like a nice romantic B&B, not a Ramada Inn - that you try to get a room with NO TV or PHONE! Good for you! Actually, GOOD FOR BOTH OF YOU!
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kantola

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Posts: 6

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2011-05-20 6-42-34-

They have nothing to say cheating like their exs did. Deep down they wish their exs would work as hard as the grey poster toward their marriage. Their still bitter, bitter people.
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  • roat

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    2011-06-04 16-07-42

    I say take the ferry to the San Juans Lots of romance up there. If you like the ocean and outdoors. But San Juan or Orcas Island, some great places up there and maybe a whale watching tour while your there. Go online, lots of places to go up there.
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    braughton

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    2011-07-22 17-25-45

    I know that everything isn't fixed a baby step, but I'll take it. I'll continue to take baby steps until I'm talking bigger steps. She didn't feel like she was asking much, and she's right, she isn't. I haven't been that affectionate with her and couseling for me and us is beginning this week. Knowing that I want us to work, I know it will as long as she's with me. Nicer knowing that her heart wasn't with another man. I'm not sure we could have worked it out if that was an issue. Having her in my arms last night was amazing. I hadn't realized how much I missed that. And the dinner, needed more than I gave it. THe salad came out great and so did the bread but the chicken, not as good as I would liked. She was a trooper, she ate it and didn't complain. She thought I was going to take her out, but when she saw the dinner on the table, her eyes lit up. I did put flowers on the table along with her favorite colors of napkins and tablecloth. She didn't say the dinner was great but she did say that making the dinner jesture was very nice. I'll accept that. I'm going to take a cooking class so that I'm familiar with some basic spices so next time I can get creative.
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    crawmer

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    2011-08-07 23-10-51

    One other thing you may want to think about While you are on vacation - if you can afford it - get a cleaning service to come in and do the entire house - top to bottom. Also, if there are any things around the house that she has been wanting to get - try and make arrangements to have a handy man come as well. This way the vacation "feeling" will last even after the vacation is over. I'm so glad to hear the dinner went well. Keep up the good work and make sure that you let her know that she is appreciated everyday!!
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  • clint

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    2011-08-21 7-19-37-

    Now that is a great idea and I can afford it. I can get her mom to be here while that's happening. I'm a good handy man and stay on top of things. Our kitchen is outdated and she's been wanting new floor, counters and cabinets. I can do all of this but it would take me much longer than a contractor (I have good contractor friends who could use the work), another good idea. When I ed her friend about the salad recipe she said that my wife has been wanting this special dress (it's very expensive, my wife, she's careful like that). I'm giving her friend the money to go and get it and surprize her on our mini vacation. Do you think she'll like that?
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    joswick

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    2011-09-12 8-02-47-

    That's a great idea. The key is to let her know that you appreciate the things she does on a daily basis. After years of being married, we tend to take our spouse for granted. We forget to say thank you when our laundry gets done, or when they clean the house. That's why it is so common that we begin to feel unappreciated. other tip - pick chore that she does on a regular basis and once a week or once a month - you do that chore. It sounds simplistic, but will go a long way in showing her that you appreciate that specific act. Don't forget to verbalize your appreciation as well. It is very important that you thank your spouse the same way you would thank a stranger. It sounds like you guys have a solid base, that maybe you guys have just gotten a little off track. You're marriage will be stronger in the end because of this.
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    Alli

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    2011-09-12 11-42-46

    Great ideas JN I want a man like this! He's purchasing a dress SHE wants. WOW! Now I am really really jeolous. Dude, you're making me set my standards in a man much much higher.
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    feutz

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    2011-11-07 20-33-03

    Hey if your wife doesn't want you I'll take you. Just kidding, Cleaning service, new kitchen, I'm so so jeolous but in a good way.
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  • flannagan

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    2011-12-23 9-15-34-

    Thanks KG at least you provided positive feedback and were considerate with the negative feedback. I was waiting for the bashing to begin but I didn't get it.
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    Drucy

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    2012-01-13 7-12-21-

    ok, here goes. She'll come back & put an RO then she will enjoy her tan, new kitchen, clean house while you live in the gutter. Just cover your ass.
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    gregorio

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    2012-03-11 14-02-23

    I don't think so, I'll enjoy her
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    wilmawilma

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    2012-05-20 19-48-24

    Good, at least you will cover your ass Don't just do it for her. I hope you both enjoy the trip & you have lots of sex. If she doesn't have sex with you, something is wrong.
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    gerdeman

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    2012-08-24 0-16-47-

    The sex has always decent was amazing. It made me feel like we were dating again. Such a small price to pay to have her all over me. I felt like a high school teenager. She does that to me. It's incredible.
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    2012-09-20 3-26-10-

    I am tearing up, something in my eye......
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  • doverspike

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    2012-11-13 7-48-18-

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  • katcher

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    2012-11-25 22-05-15

    I'm so happy to read your posting today. Your post brought a tear to my eyes. I'm happy for you and hope for lots of juju your way. SNT said Bed and Breakfast. That is an excellent idea. You should purchase her something very pretty to wear (well... if you can) as a surprize for her there.
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    bonar

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    Posts: 33

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    2012-11-30 0-50-53-

    I know, he's making us all a bunch of cry babies today!
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    popejoy

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    2013-01-27 6-25-53-

    everybody just wants the same thing to be loved and to be wanted, and to be cherished and appreciated. Attention, respect and understanding is all a good marriage ever truly needs.
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    parrotta

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    2013-03-07 8-59-37-

    Check out this book: TheLove Languages by Gary Chapman. It really saved my relationship! It will help you to show your wife that you love her by learning to speak her language. It's soooo easy once you learn how. There's a version for men andfor women. Good luck!
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    rester

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    2013-03-08 23-53-41

    That's great, It would suck to end x years of hard work.
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    Jenda

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    2013-04-07 21-29-27

    U guys think they will be ok come back with hell in her eyes and destroy him. They always do. Sheez dude you are stupid.
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  • arcos

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    2013-05-27 18-56-49

    maybe, but at still married. you?
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    gorka

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    Posts: 27

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    2013-07-11 22-21-54

    Just because he didn't find doesn't men there isn't Read his posting, she knew what he was doing. She got better at cheating.
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  • koba

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    Posts: 14

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    2013-09-17 22-21-52

    Greybies post in grey because they fear they are being followed. So, because your spouse cheated, they all do? That's a "secure" outlook on life!
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    Almerinda

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    2013-10-10 22-47-56

    Read the threads here moran their exs cheated over and over, got caught and continued to act in that manner. They didn't care about the , family or even if their friends saw them in public. Cheating spouses need to be shot and dragged into the marshes where the alligators and snakes and feast on their flesh.
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  • sclafani

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    2013-10-27 21-52-28

    just because yours didn't want YOU you should get everything.
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    2013-11-07 14-29-19

    I think when people cheat they rights to everything, house, , car, whatever. They are scum sucking bitches who don't deserve to be on this planet.
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