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Pages: dynamics of sex and a committed relationship [1]
Author Topic: Dynamics of sex and a committed relationship

Posts: 26

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2011-04-05 9-31-02-

dynamics of sex and a committed relationship imhot's sitch below got me thinking. how often is sex used as an instrument of control? in my previous relationships it never occurred to me, simply because i'm very horny in general and can't think of why i should hide it or deny myself when i want the person but with this current partner and having gotten a chastity device for him it's occurring to me now that i've travelled well into sex/control terrain. AND I FUCKING LOVE IT. i suppose though it needs to be controlled and well talked through. this isn't sexual denial with a basis in "you did something naughty in the relationship, hence no blowjobs for you," right? that seems to happen often enough. that kinda sex/control shit's not for me though.
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Posts: 2

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2011-05-21 17-50-06

A lot by the women I've known I've never tried a chastity device but I've been thinking of getting one
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2011-07-14 13-15-43

I've seen it used as a both a control and a bartering tool way too often, both personally and with others I know, for my taste. Sex, which should be an expression of one's intimacy and connection, should never be reduced to a bargaining chip - except only in play. If it is used as such, then I think there are greater issues with the core of relationship that need working on.
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  • kost

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    2011-08-23 19-46-37

    Now see Those sub guys say they love it when sex is used as a bargaining chip. They live for it. Myself I can't stand sex used that way but I don't always have a vote in the mattter
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    Posts: 17

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    2011-09-26 7-43-20-

    Well, here again, I think you are talking about being used as part of the intimacy in "play", vs. in general. For example..."No sex for you until you get a better job where I don't have to work" or such.
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    2011-11-18 3-58-17-

    Aagin I think those sub guys live for that If a woman said that to me it would be bye-bye girly unless she was Anna Kournikova hot
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    2012-01-05 1-23-53-

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    2012-03-06 20-16-38

    agreed i had no thought to my own deprivation when i got the cbx yesterday but now even THAT excites me. and then fucking my ass all night with his njoy plug... i need to be locked up :)
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    2012-03-07 11-07-26

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    2012-04-15 1-10-39-

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  • votruba

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    2012-07-16 19-50-31

    I think it can work for a great dynamic when used WITHIN a relationship, for the benefit of a relationship. But never actually 'held over someone's head' like... well, you know. So a couple might love rape fantasy, but doubtful that the rapist really wants to rape someone, nor would the rapee really like to ACTUALLY be raped. Same for the denial play. To me, it would be part of the experience, and a punishment within the confines of the play, rather than a real life punishment. "well, you made me mad today. Guess you're not getting sex!" I think I am agreeing with you, but I sort of had to say it myself for it to make sense in my mind xD
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    2012-10-02 8-05-41-

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  • hamm

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    2012-11-18 18-24-19

    :) I would never make you mad if you were going to cut me off sexually *GRINS*
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  • Lendon

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    2013-01-20 23-35-34

    Yeah, but to me... I shouldn't have to threaten to take something away from my SO.. He should be doing his best not to upset, hurt, or piss me off anyway! It shouldn't take threats to make that happen :} Lucky for me, it doesn't, but I've known toooo many couples who do get into that "No sex for you" shit, and not in the fun way!
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    2013-02-02 12-24-44

    Yeha I know what you mean I have never been in that situation myself.. I would still not make you mad at me :o)~~
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  • laplante

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    2013-03-01 5-17-01-

    Glad to hear it :) hehehe
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    Posts: 48

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    2013-03-30 17-23-17

    I agree when I am pissed sex just gets rougher. Why punish myself?? BUT, I can only give head when I love someone, so when I am mad no head. (for him:)
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    2013-04-18 6-26-07-

    aw i love sucking cock that would be punishment for me as well as for him if i didn't do it.
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    2013-06-16 4-04-22-

    Cock suckers have feelings too!! ;) Im a horrible wife! :)
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    Posts: 16

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    2013-06-22 23-16-10

    I think that it is terrible to use sex.... As a means to control someone else. It is too important in a relationship to fuck with like that. It shouldn't be a reward or a punishment, it should be a coming together ofpeople who want and love eachother... On the other hand, I am all for people who play with control, a consentual "game".
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    2013-09-30 17-14-29

    :) HI Dream. Its been awhile, how have you been.
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    2013-10-01 13-00-14

    Wonderful, but very busy.... My business is thriving, we are expanding, and things are great, but I don't have much time to perve with you all... :D
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    2013-10-19 23-07-53

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    2013-11-02 1-04-42-

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    2013-11-14 2-35-02-

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    2013-11-26 18-36-51

    Doing okay! Just really sleep deprived. Got me a jobbie doing graveyards at a happy institution, sigh. But hey--it pays the bills. :) I'm glad to hear things are going well business-wise over your way! I missed you! :*
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    2013-11-27 1-05-10-

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    2013-12-03 11-15-13

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