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Pages: Still hurts? [1]
Author Topic: Still hurts?
stocksdale

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Posts: 22

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2015-06-19 17-33-58

Still hurts? He & I put on a good front, but inside I felt so nude missouri women & alhe went straight to his computer to the tv..I had to beg him all the time just to come with me. I shut him out after the rape.He horny women looking for men me down to be a person I never thought I could be. I loved him, I was chat to horny women for free of him & when I finally tried to make everything ok..he shut down.I hate that I can't hate him.. I still can't sleep in my room..can't sleep in my bed because of what he did.I had a panic attack & unintentionally rubbedof my wrists to numb my pain inside & now have a scare the size of a nickel that will never go away & sits there as a reminder of all that pain. He gets to move on & I am left with scares inside & out. He was never the person made himself believe.I was horny wives online for a year & he never noticed.. He told me he loved me when I was x & proposed to me. I married him because he made me feel on top of the world.I loved everything about him & then we got married & I became second on his list..maybe even further down than that.He did things for me but only to please himself..to show himself that he was giving it his all when in reality I was telling at him that they were the wrong things & telling him what I needed. He never made me part of his life.He hurt me so bad that I honestly don't know that I will ever discreet woman from it.I fight local sex buddies , failure, my worthiness, the pain of loss, the hurt of being broken by someone physiy, mentally & emotionally & I trust no I fear everyday that I will become too close to someone & that someone will take my trust & turn it into my fear..trade it all in for someone or something else..I worry that maybe I will never be happy again..I put all my eggs inbasket & they broke.I fear falling & not being caught. I am over the pain of the relationship, but I am no where near healed from the pain of divorce.All those years.. talks & fights & being al.It is a swingers enschede feeling when you are told that they only married you out of fear of loosing you..that you are not the person they imagined themselves with..that you are selfish, self-centered & weak. I am jealous of him..I am jealous that he prepared himself for divorce & distanced himself enough that all he had to do was walk away..It's not fair that he did all of this to me & is thethat gets to be so happy.
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sharpe

Full Member
Posts: 54

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2015-07-16 23-24-32

Wow. I hope you are getting help
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Reina

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Posts: 55

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2015-08-14 22-50-33

its been a year I think I am just discovering how broken I truly am....I spent the last year picking up the pieces so that I could stand on my ownfeet that all those fears are surfacing..all that pain. I view myself as a strong person, but I don't know any amount of sex advertisement to bounce back. I know there are nice guys...I have met a few, but he started out that way and we spent x years together...
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  • faraci

    Newbie
    Posts: 32

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    2015-09-10 9-21-11-

    You need to take time to get to know yourself before getting involved with anyone else. Do you know what interests you? Maybe take a class orat the local community college to start a new hobby. Another idea is to volunteer with an organization whose goals you believe in. You'll meet other like-minded individuals there. Whenever you do meet someone, please take it slow and get to know the person after you know yourself.
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  • littlewood

    Member
    Posts: 52

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    2015-09-14 3-37-55-

    Don't be so sure he First of all you should be rejoycing having the a%$HOLE out of your life. You are better off.other thing. While he sounds like a real piece of work there are guys out there that are complete opposite of him. Genltemen that would never raise a hand towards a female or sex chats toulouse her. Actual nice guys. Not getting along isthing but to make someone fearfull of you is not in the cards. Jus remember there are a lot of nice guys out there. You just happened to get stuck with a lemon.
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